I have a similar issue but VNC is no use to me as I want to use my networked NAS drive.
Choosing a home router is a real minefield, DD-WRT is recommended often but there is a dizzying array of options and generally the software outperforms the hardware - e.g. the VPN might work but your wireless speed will be horribly slow.
I think I'm accepting I'll have to spend more than I'd previously considered for ease of use and reliability, therefore does anyone have any personal recommendations on a good home router with endpoint / termination functionality for VPN?
Thank you