Question About Contacting Ex-Boyfriend

[JodiJ]

Y ex boyfriends mother passed away in November and I haven't spoken to him since the service. I don't want to intrude on his grief and disrupt his life anymore however ; I want to make sure he is okay. Would a simple email be okay? I don't want to stand idol during this difficult time for him and his family. Any thoughts would be appreciated , JJ

 

[Mickey330]

Moderator Notice: We've moved this thread to the Off-Topic section.

Thanks for your understanding.

Marilyn

 

[hpulmer]

Y ex boyfriends mother passed away in November and I haven't spoken to him since the service. I don't want to intrude on his grief and disrupt his life anymore however ; I want to make sure he is okay. Would a simple email be okay? I don't want to stand idol during this difficult time for him and his family. Any thoughts would be appreciated , JJ

I would suggest to send him a letter instead - an email would not be so appropriate after such long time... (my humble opinion)

 

[thewitt]

Yes, in this day and age an email is fine, can be personal, and will certainly be welcome.

 

[leelai]

Yes a simple email as a gesture of concern is fine here and I'm sure will be appreciated but as this is a poignant time, a written note is far more gracious.

 

[Kaykaykay]

I wouldn't send email for anything as important and personal as this. And I'd send a note or card only if I thought it would be welcome, not because it would make me feel better.

 

[JodiJ]

Thank you, I welcome any thoughts or suggestions!

 

[thewitt]

Just one more data point, from a guy's perspective. We tend not to be touchy freely, and don't really appreciate receiving cards like women do.., the contact itself is more important than the medium.

Don't delay in any case...

Oh and with email, he will reply and you can start interacting with him again. With a card, now he has to initiate the email conversation if that's what you are looking for

 

[exile]

+1

If that happened to me and my ex did that, I wouldn't mind.

 

[Kaykaykay]

Trying to force someone's response is one reason I wouldn't send email in such circumstances. That's why I mentioned contacting the other person only if I thought the gesture would be welcome by the recipient, not just to make myself feel good (or manipulate the situation). I would especially be careful about grief, because I wouldn't want to put the other person in a possibly awkward situation if he/she opened email in front of others or during a bad time of day, which I find is more likely with email.

 

[JodiJ]

I can respect that however; no one will question my authenticity. No manipulation tactics !

 

[sanada]

If my ex boy friends mother died I would call him.

 

[StacyC]

It would depend...

How long did you two date and how serious was it? Also, how long ago did you break up?

 

[JodiJ]

Eight years. Broke up one year ago.

 

[StacyC]

I think it would be very appropriate for you to send him an email. Just don't make him think you want to get back together.