A true friend is someone that will come over and dance naked for you when you are down in the dumps.
True friends forgive the massive debts you own them and they put off that heart surgery when you need their cash to buy another iThing.
True friends put off dates when you command them to help you move.
True friends let you borrow their tooth brushes and under arm roll on deodorants.
A friend is very special to me. So why is it I have no friends? I agree, it is a mystery, indeed it is.