More laughs than Funnies

[KevinJS]

I've seen quite a few of these Richard but this was a new one to me....

Unless I've forgotten it already.

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Forgotten what?

 

[Hayles66]

Very funny Kevin

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[Richard Brown]

I was just listening to "Life Gets Tee-jus Don't It" by Hank Williams Jr.
The lyrics are great. It's the first time I've heard it.

This version isn't by Hank, but it's good.

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[Richard Brown]

I'm bumping this thread up.

A cousin recently posted this story.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!"
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing,
camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook,
did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat,
traveled more, had many lovers, and had all the hot water to herself.
She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy
lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or
yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants.
THE END

I think this is the best thread for it....

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[leelai]

Just love this Richard!!

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[Richard Brown]

Just love this Richard!!

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I thought you would. I know some others on the forum who will also

BTW, I hope you enjoyed your evening out.

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[leelai]

I thought you would. I know some others on the forum who will also

BTW, I hope you enjoyed your evening out.

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Thank you, yes I had a lovely time, it was a friends restaurant which is on the edge of the Bay, lucky we had heaters all around us as we were outside and it's winter right now. He floated candles in the water for me, so magical!

We didn't get home till 1.30am though. So just a tad tired today.

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[Hayles66]

Sounds lovely Leelai
Lol very amusing Richard.

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[Amy Rose The Hedgehog]

Here's a funny true story


We were at our class field trip, and one of my classmates had some candy. He put a piece of candy on the bench for a second and turned around to get something. While he wasn't looking, a robin came and landed on the candy. When he turned around, the robin flew away with the candy sticking to its foot, and the guy was like HEY!! BRING THAT BACK!! Then he takes his coat and starts chasing after the robin! Then he thought he found it, then another one landed and he got confused, then the bus came and we had to leave, and he never got the candy back, lol.

 

[Hayles66]

A bit like one of my colleagues. She was eating a baguette and this seagull snatched it right out of her hand. She'd wasn't amused.

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[Amy Rose The Hedgehog]

A bit like one of my colleagues. She was eating a baguette and this seagull snatched it right out of her hand. She'd wasn't amused.

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Lol

 

[Richard Brown]

Here's a funny true story

We were at our class field trip, and one of my classmates had some candy. He put a piece of candy on the bench for a second and turned around to get something. While he wasn't looking, a robin came and landed on the candy. When he turned around, the robin flew away with the candy sticking to its foot, and the guy was like HEY!! BRING THAT BACK!! Then he takes his coat and starts chasing after the robin! Then he thought he found it, then another one landed and he got confused, then the bus came and we had to leave, and he never got the candy back, lol.

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[Richard Brown]

I have posted this on the Post Your Pet thread, but think it worth repeating here...

When we lived in Trinidad, BWI we had a stray mongrel dog, classed as a Pie Dog. He was a great companion and most protective of his adopted family.

According to my mother, we insisted on calling one dog "sexy". My parents were most embarrassed having to call for the dog when lost. Remember, this was back in the '50s.

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[Amy Rose The Hedgehog]

One time, while I was at school, I was swinging and when I was really high in the air, my WHOLE body suddenly flipped off the swing, I screamed, the guy next to me looked and he was like OMG! I had to grab on to the chains of the swing and literally swing down like Tarzan, lol, when I landed I started laughing, scared the heck out of the dude next to me too lol

 

[Richard Brown]

This one has been around the block a few times, but it's worth stopping it to read: -


Subject: I'll be on the front porch

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw that it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again, saw that it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back? Then, I could live until I was around eighty... would that be okay?

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So... that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey-like tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and 'bark' at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.

If you are looking for me, I will be out on the front porch.

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