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Least Common Complaints About the iPad

dennis

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More humor to brighten your day. :D

This one is from the New Yorker

Uncommon complaints about the iPad : The New Yorker

LEAST COMMON COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NEW IPAD
by Billy Kimball
APRIL 26, 2010


· Too salty.

· Time-travel app does not automatically adjust for Julian calendar.

· When used as tanning bed, battery life is limited.

· Not rhino-proof.

· Salesperson in Apple Store not wearing ironic “jazzman” hat.

· Not available in soothing Harvest Gold color.

· Strange odor coming from husband while using iPad.

· For $499, I was expecting a few more sequins.

· No USB port for whatever it is that they do.

· The iBookstore ichthyology section includes almost nothing on lampreys.

· When used as murder weapon, oleophobic coating does not completely eliminate incriminating fingerprints.

· Copying document files requires installation of forty-dollar iCarbonCopy app.

· Virtual cupholder does not actually hold cups.

· Unwilling to buy anything from Apple ever since Steve Jobs killed my parents.

· Insufficient media coverage.

· Original iPad was good enough for Grandpa and it’s good enough for me.

· Upscaling makes porn unexpectedly upsetting.

· After owning a Kindle for three weeks, I have become deeply loyal to the brand.

· The virtual keyboard is too %&@#! hard to use.

· New York Herald Tribune not available online anyway.


Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2010/04/26/100426ta_talk_kimball#ixzz0lqRcCXX6
 
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