Siri says the darndest things...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by robertlc, Oct 19, 2011.

  1. Bob Maxey

    Bob Maxey
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    Siri is a silly gal. As you know, I am a great baseball expert and fan. I love the New Jersey Yankeys and was heart broken when they moved to Atlanta. Anyway, I tried to ask Siri for some help. I needed to know a few of the player's names and the positions they monitored. Glad I recorded the transcript"

    Bob: Siri, please tell me some famous baseball player’s names.
    Siri: You mean funny names?
    Bob: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
    Siri: His brother Daffy
    Bob: Daffy Dean...
    Siri: And their French cousin.
    Bob: French?
    Siri: Goofe'
    Bob: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
    Siri: That's what I want to find out.
    Bob: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
    Siri: Are you the manager?
    Bob: Yes.
    Siri: You gonna be the coach too?
    Bob: Yes.
    Siri: And you don't know the fellows' names.
    Bob: Well I should.
    Siri: Well then who's on first?
    Bob: Yes.
    Siri: I mean the fellow's name.
    Bob: Who.
    Siri: The guy on first.
    Bob: Who.
    Siri: The first baseman.
    Bob: Who.
    Siri: The guy playing...
    Bob: Who is on first!
    Siri: I'm asking you who's on first.
    Bob: That's the man's name.
    Siri: That's who's name?
    Bob: Yes.
    Siri: Well go ahead and tell me.
    Bob: That's it.
    Siri: That's who?
    Bob: Yes. PAUSE
    Siri: Look, you gotta first baseman?
    Bob: Certainly.
    Siri: Who's playing first?
    Bob: That's right.
    Siri: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
    Bob: Every dollar of it.
    Siri: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
    Bob: Who.
    Siri: The guy that gets...
    Bob: That's it.
    Siri: Who gets the money...
    Bob: He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
    Siri: Who's wife?
    Bob: Yes. PAUSE
    Bob: What's wrong with that?
    Siri: I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
    Bob: Who.
    Siri: The guy.
    Bob: Who.
    Siri: How does he sign...
    Bob: That's how he signs it.
    Siri: Who?
    Bob: Yes. PAUSE
    Siri: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.
    Bob: No. What is on second base.
    Siri: I'm not asking you who's on second.
    Bob: Who's on first.
    Siri: One base at a time!
    Bob: Well, don't change the players around.
    Siri: I'm not changing nobody!
    Bob: Take it easy, buddy.
    Siri: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
    Bob: That's right.
    Siri: OK.
    Bob: Alright. PAUSE
    Siri: What's the guy's name on first base?
    Bob: No. What is on second.
    Siri: I'm not asking you who's on second.
    Bob: Who's on first.
    Siri: I don't know.
    Bob: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
    Siri: Now how did I get on third base?
    Bob: Why you mentioned his name.
    Siri: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
    Bob: No. Who's playing first.
    Siri: What's on base?
    Bob: What's on second.
    Siri: I don't know.
    Bob: He's on third.
    Siri: There I go, back on third again! PAUSE
    Siri: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
    Bob: Alright, what do you want to know?
    Siri: Now who's playing third base?
    Bob: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
    Siri: What am I putting on third.
    Bob: No. What is on second.
    Siri: You don't want who on second?
    Bob: Who is on first.
    Siri: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE
    Siri: Look, you gotta outfield?
    Bob: Sure.
    Siri: The left fielder's name?
    Bob: Why.
    Siri: I just thought I'd ask you.
    Bob: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
    Siri: Then tell me who's playing left field.
    Bob: Who's playing first.
    Siri: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
    Bob: No, What is on second.
    Siri: I'm not asking you who's on second.
    Bob: Who's on first!
    Siri: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE
    Siri: The left fielder's name?
    Bob: Why.
    Siri: Because!
    Bob: Oh, he's center field. PAUSE
    Siri: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
    Bob: Sure.
    Siri: The pitcher's name?
    Bob: Tomorrow.
    Siri: You don't want to tell me today?
    Bob: I'm telling you now.
    Siri: Then go ahead.
    Bob: Tomorrow!
    Siri: What time?
    Bob: What time what?
    Siri: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
    Bob: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
    Siri: I'll break you're arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
    Bob: What's on second.
    Siri: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE
    Siri: Gotta a catcher?
    Bob: Certainly.
    Siri: The catcher's name?
    Bob: Today.
    Siri: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
    Bob: Now you've got it.
    Siri: All we got is a couple of days on the team. PAUSE
    Siri: You know I'm a catcher too.
    Bob: So they tell me.
    Siri: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
    Bob: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
    Siri: I don't even know what I'm talking about! PAUSE
    Bob: That's all you have to do.
    Siri: Is to throw the ball to first base.
    Bob: Yes!
    Siri: Now who's got it?
    Bob: Naturally. PAUSE
    Siri: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
    Bob: Naturally.
    Siri: Who?
    Bob: Naturally.
    Siri: Naturally?
    Bob: Naturally.
    Siri: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
    Bob: No you don't you throw the ball to Who.
    Siri: Naturally.
    Bob: That's different.
    Siri: That's what I said.
    Bob: you're not saying it...
    Siri: I throw the ball to Naturally.
    Bob: You throw it to Who.
    Siri: Naturally.
    Bob: That's it.
    Siri: That's what I said!
    Bob: You ask me.
    Siri: I throw the ball to who?
    Bob: Naturally.
    Siri: Now you ask me.
    Bob: You throw the ball to Who?
    Siri: Naturally.
    Bob: That's it.
    Siri: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
    Bob: What?
    Siri: I said I don't give a darn!
    Bob: Oh, that's our shortstop.
     
  2. robertlc

    robertlc
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    Since getting my iPhone 4S, I've played with Siri a little.

    Try asking her/it what she/it wants for Christmas.
     

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