Is 7 years A Long Time NOT To Be Married?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by AntonCartel, Dec 9, 2011.

  1. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    Oh I have no doubt there w/ you. I hear & see stories from both sides. I'm trying to be in that 1% that is solid on the males spectrum. Not bashing women. I LOVE WOMEN. Anything I say, don't mind if it doesn't apply.

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  2. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    I agree. To say the least

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  3. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    I hear yuh. Real grown of you sticking to your priorities. If only we all could've stuck to our guns.
    Question: Is it me or does 4 years not seem like such a long time? As it did say 10-20 yrs from now. Life changes, economy, government, goals to keep things so fresh. Still seems to me that even after 4 years you could still have lots to learn about your mate & your relationship. Which isn't a bad thing at all. I'm in a 7 yr & it's great. Because there is still so much to learn. Things change or alter the grain which in return makes things new & have to be tracked over together.

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  4. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    I hear yuh. Truthfully I have fathered no kids. When I met my women she already had a 3 month old. At first I thought it would just be a fling. I wanted the real father to be in his child's life w/ no problems from me, 22, who wasn't ready to be a full-time parent.
    But the father didn't want to be there w/ out getting perks from his baby mother & I fell in love w/ his son & wouldn't let'em grow up without a father. Plus I also fell in love w/ his mother.
    So they moved in to my house not too long after.

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  5. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    I agree. NO RUSH.

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  6. SweetPoison

    SweetPoison iPad Legend

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    Did you know you can quote all of these posts at the same time? It is the tab with " at the right end.

    Please do that! There is no need to quote 20 posts since you were here last, one by one.
     
  7. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    That's great advice. Which is prolly why I'm not getting married any time soon. I'm watching my money.

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  8. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    I was involved in a terrible motorcycle accident almost five years ago. Nearly lost my life. My current girlfriend, GOD Bless her heart, told the surgeons, not to amputate my whole left arm. Which was what they were prepared to due. I love her for that. Bacause since then I've been able to bring back sufficient mobility to it.
    I personally am not caught up in what happens in the event of her passing. Because I fully intend on taking care of her (& our son) to the fullest until my unfortunate passing. My family & her know how I'd like it to be.

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  9. AntonCartel

    AntonCartel iPF Novice

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    Thank you! This rook has much to learn.

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  10. Kaykaykay

    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    Glad that your situation worked out. Without being married, though, it's luck of the draw whether hospitals, etc., will act according to a girlfriend's wishes. Legally, she has no rights to make medical decisions for you unless you give her power of attorney, or you are married.

    By the way, if you died and were married, your wife would be entitled to survivor benefits under Social Security, provided you've been paying into the system. That would be one way you could take care of someone you love, even if you're no longer able to.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2012
  11. kingnba6

    kingnba6 iPad Junkie

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    i believe after the age of 25, marriage comes a lot quicker. being young you have a lot to think about like what you plan on doing with your life, wheres the money coming from and all that. after 25 most people have steady jobs and basically have their own life. and to get married, it happens within 5 years mostly 4. 1 year of being together, then moving in together so 2 years. then getting engaged for the 3rd year and the 4th year marriage.
     
  12. Kaykaykay

    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    Agreed that it's not a good idea to consider marriage in college, because your early 20s are a time of lots of growth. And generally people who are in college can't even support themselves, so I don't consider them independent adults. But I don't agree that there's some kind of math formula for getting married, as you've described. And some people should simply never marry.

    I think people should only get married if they're mature, and that comes at different ages for different people. And no matter how mature you are, or how ready you are for marriage, life's circumstances vary. You might not meet the right person, you might have career plans or opportunities that conflict, etc.

    Getting into any relationship because of what society or others expect is a bad way to start any relationship, IMO. That's what you're suggesting with a marriage timeline for people.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2012
  13. kingnba6

    kingnba6 iPad Junkie

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    im not saying that its a formula. i am saying that if you plan to get married then thats the course that most people take. most couples who know they are or will get married, tend to go out for 1-2 years, then move in and after they feel it is possible to live with each other then they get engaged and so on
     
  14. Kaykaykay

    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    I don't know if that pattern is accurate, but let's say it is. I don't know whether that's a pattern for success when half of couples in the U.S. end up divorcing. Seems like many of them should've taken longer or not married.
     
  15. kingnba6

    kingnba6 iPad Junkie

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    yeah i understand what you are saying. but what i am trying to say is that the older you get, the quicker you want everything to move (and i am not talking about like 50 years old i mean like when women complain about their clock ticking away)

    time has the biggest impact on relations. as you get older you dont need to spend as much time with them as compared to a college love or high school love. the older you get the wiser you spend your time. so in theory time plays the greatest factor in marriage and relationships.
     

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