Is 7 years A Long Time NOT To Be Married?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by AntonCartel, Dec 9, 2011.

  1. Kaykaykay
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    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    Wow, 22 and you know about all women. Lol. You clearly have a lot more to learn.
  2. Hayles66
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    Tell me about it! I expect he hasn't come across well himself to get such a bad idea of us! You youngsters have no staying power. Give and take!

    Sent from my one and only original iPad using iPF
  3. Kaykaykay
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    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    I find that relationships are more about us than the other person. For instance, if you're consistently running into probs with women or men, it's probably because you're picking or attracting the wrong ones. If you have your own crap together, you're unlikely to end up in a bad relationship. (Having your crap together includes not being drawn to people who need "fixing.")

    Of course, these are just my observations.
  4. kingnba6
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    I'm in a 4 year relationship and not even looking to get married. College and career come before anything. I plan to get married after I get a final or official job and able to make good money.
  5. JezzerP
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    This is not always the case. If children, or joint property is involved and the relationship turns sour, then legally you are better off being married. This, of course is NOT a reason to get married!!
  6. surgetek
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    Let start off by saying I am married, I have two kids, and I (unfortunately) own two houses.

    Three things I always say:

    Never buy a house (rent and let it be someone else's problem)
    Never have kids (if you can't take care of yourself or are not prepared to think LONG and hard about what it entails, don't do it)
    Never get married (costs too much money to get married and costs to much to get out of it)

    Only one I regret is buying my house and having the other to rent to my in laws. My kids are awesome I would not trade them for the world. But I have these thoughts as to how I am going to handle things when crap hits the fan, get into fights at school, get made fun of for some reason, etc etc etc. Those are the things you don't think of when you're planning on kids.

    If you're happy with your situation, then stay that way. Nothing changes after your married besides her name and your bank account.:(
  7. Kaykaykay
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    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    Wow, doesn't sound like you're happy with your choices.

    I can speak only for myself: I'm very happy with my husband of nearly 20 years, and with the homes I own. I'm also happily child free, lol. I can see why some people want kids, but I did think that through and decided against them.
  8. Rachiee24
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    In my opinion, I dont think there is a set time in which is best to get married. I mean my mum and stepdad got married after 2 years being together and that was 10 years ago, whereas my dad and his fiancee have been together for about 6 years and they're not rushing to get married. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half and yeah we've spoke about maybe getting married in a couple of years but we're in no rush. If the time is right, it's right. If not, I don't think it will affect anything but that's just my opinion :)
  9. surgetek
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    Definitely happy with my choices. I would change my choice in home decisions though. Mostly because I am stuck and one and the other in my opinion is too small for what we have.

    My wife is great and puts up with my crap (expensive hobbies, sports, etc). The kid thing is more of how I am going to deal with issues that come up later in life and how I understand why people stay up at night worrying about their kids. I would still do it all over again.
  10. kingnba6
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    owning a house has its perks! but for me it is easy because i am very handy from everything from plumbing to electricity. i own 3 houses apart from the one i live in. so far ive only had 1 bad tenant. because of him i am down about $8,200. thats rent, heat and court bills. he only has 1 more week left until he is legally forced to leave.

    /rant
  11. autumnbaby
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    My parents didn't get married until their 24th anniversary and they only did it then because of some legal issues that came up. I don't see myself ever getting married....long term relationship? Sure but not married.
  12. surgetek
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    Thankfully my tenants are my in laws and we rent to them because they fell on hard times. They know that they are there for the duration. It'll be a family meeting type thing if they decide they need/want to move.

    My wife's aunt and uncle got married after 30 something years together mainly because of pensions, life insurance claims, and such.
  13. Kaykaykay
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    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    For me, the No. 1 reason to get married is that, because I'd committed to one person, I wanted to make sure that if anything happened to him, I would be able to take care of him. For instance, if it comes down to life-or-death medical decisions, I know I will do my best for my husband, and vice versa. If anything happens, it will be decided by me or him, no one else.

    If I'm commited to one person, I will not let anything keep me from taking care of him, including all the benefits that go to spouses in case of injury, death, etc., such as Social Security, pensions, insurance, other inheritance rights.

    Of course nothing is certain, people change and can grow apart, and divorce can be messy and expensive. That's what marriage means to me: that I'm willing to take those risks because that's how much I believe in my husband.
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  14. Chuamt
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  15. Kaykaykay
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    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    Go away if you don't like it. This subforum and thread are clearly labeled.
  16. Mtnmedic
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    Mtnmedic iPad Junkie

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    [Moderator edit: Removed inappropriate quote from member.]

    Dude, what part of the subforum title "Off-Topic" don't you quite understand?

    Here's a hint in case you continue to struggle with the term: "Off-Topic" = not necessarily having anything to do with Apple. Notice that this is the ONLY place in the entire site where Apple-centered discussion does NOT take precedence.

    That said, why are you even here READING this thread titled "Is Seven Years A Long Time Not To Be Married?" in this particular "Off-Topic" subforum if all you're interested in is Apple talk and/or you're not interested in "love advice" talk? Let alone post something snide like "Go to Oprah's forum..." that doesn't even contribute to the discussion at hand? Such behavior smacks of troll.

    Reading the thread title and subforum title, what'd you THINK the discussion was going to be about? iPad charging issues? Problems with iTunes Match? Speculations regarding iPad 3?

    Michael "Spam, spam, bacon, eggs and spam. Hold the bacon and eggs." Sent from my iPad 2 using iPF
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2011
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  17. Wildfire
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    I'm from an era when living in "sin" was frowned upon. However, that didn't stop people from living together if they had a place of their own. I think whether married or living together or marrying with a Church's blessing or without should be strictly up to the people concerned. About 50% of marriages end in divorce which makes it a fertile field for lawyers. Then there are unexpected problems when couples break up. Lee Marvin found out the hard way and so did Clint Eastwood, I think. Either way, "breaking up is hard to do..." and benefits lawyers most of the time.
    Just be happy and play it by ear...after 7 years you got something going that works...
  18. saphire
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    I was going to post a long reply in here on the reasons for getting married but deleted it all because that would mean I am preaching the reasons you should make a commitment, quite obviously you are still not ready otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question.

    I have been married for 43 years after 6 weeks of courtship and don't regret any of it, including the serious ups and downs, our marriage commitment has been worth fighting for and I wouldn't change a thing.
  19. Mtnmedic
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    Marriage, domestic partnership, staying single, etc. - it's all good and there is nothing wrong with any of those choices. Each has something better than the other as well as something worse. There is no high road in any direction because there are no moral absolutes in a socially complex world. I'm 47, single-not yet married-and have no issues with staying single, having a long-term girlfriend or a wife...I let nature take its course and follow my heart, not any single ideology.

    Michael "Spam, spam, bacon, eggs and spam. Hold the bacon and eggs." Sent from my iPad 2 using iPF
  20. Kaykaykay
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    Kaykaykay iPad Wizard

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    What happens privately in any relationship is up to the couple. (My husband and I lived together and later married, because that's what felt right for us.)

    But there's a difference between the private and the legal aspects of marriage, or even living together.

    For instance, there are laws in various states that automatically consider a live-in couple married by common law after a certain period. So by default if the couple split, there could be financial repercussions, as Wildfire touched on. That could include splitting assets and alimony-type payments, with no marriage having ever happened. So if your goal is to guard your money and property, best make sure you know the law where you live.
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2011

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