Children behaving badly

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by henry2, Jul 8, 2011.

  1. henry2
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    henry2 iPad Junkie

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    Tonight i went to denny to get something to eat before turning in for the night ..There was this lady and her kid there and i swear i know my grandson who has Autism is a hand full at full throttle when he ging out all at the time's ..

    But this kid need a belt taken to his butt and the mother should have been next for the belt ..

    I'm sitting at the far end of the counter and i can here the kid yelling at the top of his lungs about his does not like what is been served to him along with him getting up and running around in the place bugging the heck out of everyone ..

    By the time my food had gotten to me most of the people had moved to the counter area to get away from him and his mother ..

    I guess i'm getting old because i fed up of him screaming and yelling and walk around the corner and ask the mother to please take the child outside and have a talk to him or i have a belt and no problem explaining to the little one the basic fact's of life about how to be good child in a public place..

    She storms out of the place and i can see her on the phone and about 10 mins later a partol unit is in the front of the place and the officer's come in and ask me a few question about what happened here in the place ..

    One of the cooks walk up and show the officer the video she had shot with her cell phone of kid doing everything under the sun in the dinning room there.

    Along with a few other people telling the officer's that the mother was more about talking on her cellphone than keeping the kid under control in the place and not really saying to the kid keep it down there are people trying to eat here .

    The officer walks out and tell the lady next time keep your kid under control or we have to have a talk to you ..

    I know my grandson can be a handfull because of his behavior problem with Autism and he can do something that are a little creepy to other people by going over and eating off there plates or drinking out of there glass us we are used to him beening him and he does have the basic understanding that he in a public place and there are rules to be followed when we are in a public place ..

    Yes we do tell him not to do and we keep a close eye on him when we are out in public place where we are going to be eating at with him in the middle of the booth so he traped between someone.

    But this kid was normal kid that need someone to take the belt to his butt and not stop intill he learned how to act in a public place where there are other people in the area.

    I'm just getting calmed down from haveing to deal with the officer's and the kid and i sitting here thinking like my god have we gone that far with kid today that they have not been taught the basic's of the knowage of how to act in a public place and be a good role model for you to follow ..

    It seams to me is my generation the last generation to have the basic knowage of how to act in a public place passed along to us by our mother and father .

    Sorry the rant is over
  2. SweetPoison
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    SweetPoison iPad Legend

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    I agree, Henry. In my job I work with the state when we take kids into protective custody.

    You have to have a license to fish. Buy anyone can have a child.

    I am glad it is Friday.
  3. Tim SPRACKLEN
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    Tim SPRACKLEN iPad Legend

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    I have eight children. If I'd needed a licence I'd be bankrupt....:(

    Tim
  4. col.bris
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    col.bris Administrator Staff Member

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    You just need to buy a tv. Lol
  5. antonio107
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    Think I found the problem. Neglecting the child began long before the theatrics. :D
  6. extendedforecast
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    You walked up to a total stranger and offered to beat her kid with a belt. That's what you did. A poorly behaved child isn't violating any laws. In my jurisdiction, telling someone you will beat their child if they dont do something is 3rd degree menacing and an arrest charge.

    Regardless of how the kid was behaving you have less than zero standing in our civil society to offer to beat a stranger's child. Furthermore - writing a long post mentioning multiple times how you're willing to beat a kid with your belt without stopping "until they learn to behave" makes me think you aren't qualified to own a dog.

    Yikes.


    Sent from my Android 3.1 Motorola Xoom Tablet!
  7. henry2
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    Ok i do own a dog and he knows when he can cut up and have fun and when it time to sit and be quiet ..

    The biggest problem we have in the country is the socalled the time out with a child way of thinking ..When i was growing up we had basic rules on how to act in public and if did not follow those rules we got butt's tanned ..

    It like watch those video's of the kids doing the flash mob robbery's of places do you think that would be happening in the 1960's era no because the kids would have been shot right and there in the middle of the act ..

    We have gone to far to the left in this country on how we handle a child who will not act in a proper way it time out or i take your toy away from you or your in the middle of the store and you have a kid running down the middle of the ailes and he screaming his head off because he not getting a toy .

    Some people are more about let talk on my cell phone than minding there own kids in places.

    My grandson is 8 years and he know's when not to act up or do something because we have taught him that and he also know's the basic rules on how to act when we are in a public place .Inside the house yes he can have all the fun and running around and doing normal kid thing's ..But before we leave the house he is pulled aside and told we are now going out of the house it time to behave in public ..

    If he needs to go to the bathroom or wanting something to drink he knows to touch one of us and point to the item or take us by the hand and lead us to the bathroom in a public place ..

    But this kid need the lesson of what my grandfather used to call take you out behind the barn and we are going to talk about your bad behavior in public place ..

    If you do not like then remember we are reaping the socalled years of i know what better you than you do way of thinking from school to the person personal life in the raiseing of our childern ..

    Maybe it time we do go back to the socalled common sense way of raiseing a child in this world or make the country in two part one area raise there kids like they are beening raised now and the other part where they are beening raised with basic understanding of how to act in public and how to behave as a person should be have ..

    My kid's will tell you if they got there backside tanned it was over them steping over the basic rules of there socalled behavior in away that i thought ws not right ..Most time i called stop it right there with a look from me and they knew if you past the look then you where in trouble when we get home

    So remember reaping the wind's of the socalled 60's & forward from the socalled people who think that they know better than the parent of how to raise there kid's ideas of the socalled social idea's of spareing the rod on the kid ..

    Yes there is some parent's that need to have there kids taken away from them and raised by someone else ..But kids nows day's are beening taught in school that if do not like what is beening done to you in your home because your mother and father are trying to raise you right and make you do your homework or take out the trash called CPS on your mother and father ..

    That how far we have gotten from a basic common sense way of thinking of raising your child .
  8. 55julie55
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    55julie55 iPad Ninja

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    I tend to think that a child who misbehaves ,has a parent who have not been there for them.
    While I can sympathize with the discomfort you and others had in the restaurant,I don't think violence is the answer.
    It's unfortunately a western child's behavior that is questionable.
    Where childern have nothing ,the demands and self focus is much less.
    Where parents spend time with children,the behavior is learned by example.
    Good parents ,good children.

    We notice while traveling the world the difference in behaviour immediately on arriving at a western world country.the wingeing voices and the i want ,iwant is loud and clear!
    There are some things we are continuing to get wrong .
    good parenting seems to be one of them.

    We have grand children who are growing up well loved and disciplined.

    We also have a business which offers holiday accommodation.
    We have a no children policy,for the very reasons you have vented about.

    I feel for the child who has been badly parented and will always be unwelcome and difficult to be around.
    Let's hope the mother can see her,shortcomings and improve the child's chances of a happy life in the future.
  9. henry2
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    henry2 iPad Junkie

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    I was a single parent and raiseing 4 kids when my wife passed away and they where age's of 12 to 16 years old with the two oldest beening the most helpfull along with her family helping out .The 12 year old was the most hard to handle but by the time she was 16 she had come around to becoming a good person ..But there was a few rough years with her

    They knew they could be outright clowns and they knew when it was time to be quiet because of the we where somewhere they need to be quiet or eating in a nice place ..

    So yes i understand why some places now have the socalled no childern rule when they are haveing open house or public event's
  10. MoneyGuy
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    The mother was wrong for not controlling her child but threatening to beat the kid? Seriously? Inappropriate over reaction. The cop should have had a talk with you, regardless of what the little brute did.
  11. henry2
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    henry2 iPad Junkie

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    the cop said thank you and he was like i take a belt to the kid myself if it was me .
  12. NYC Adam
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    NYC Adam iPF Novice

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    Not sure I want to chime in either way on this one - I think most points were made, however I read these posts last night, and then read the following article in the WSJ this morning. Thought to share it with you all:

    "Restaurant Bans Kids, Wins Fans"

    removed by Moderator ~
    -NYC Adam
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 14, 2011
  13. SweetPoison
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    Not sure about that link, Adam. I clicked on it and my computer got all funky and ads popped up.

    I am at my office computer ~ thank goodness. With all due respect I think I will remove it and members can search for a link on their own if so desire.
  14. DrHouse
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    The problem is not the kid, it's the parent! I have 5 boys, and I always hear: it must be hell with 5 boys? The answer is no. I have educated them to behave. Never got a crisis in public, never had them annoying people around. When at a restaurant, I often get good comments on how my kids are behaving them selves. They talked, they laugh, they want to go see the children area of the place were in, but never will they start screaming, shouting, yelling.

    I don't spank them or yell at them. I don't offer treats for good behavior, I don't do anything special than I should do. Explain briefly, with autority and confidence. This was started early, really early, and in the worst case, they get my finger of God! The finger of God is using your index to put some pressure on the shoulder of the kid, right in the soft spot between neck and shoulder. You start gently, and the more the arguing, the more pressure you put. It's not painful but uncomfortable... After a few times, just putting your finder on the shoulder will stop immidietaly the surging crisis and then the kid will listen to what you have to say.

    And of course, as a parent, you have to demonstrate the benefit of behaving, not just saying "don't don't don't...". Giving treats is for animals and resolving with violence is not acceptable, kids will understand quickly if you take the time to explain, to encourage and to repect. They are wiser than we think, us, "adults"!

    There is another thing I do if I loose control in a public place, meaning they start running around wildly for example. Kids will be kids, but sometime, you want them to stay near you mainly for security reasons. I call that one the skull hook (actually, in French, it is "Tete crochet"). Grab the head of the kid by it's base in the back of the neck. There are kinds of 2 soft spots just at the base of the cranium. Hold gently and then raise your arm a little so the kid will feel lifted by his head and will start tiptoeing, wondering what is happening. DO NOT LIFT THE KID! Just apply a slight upward pressure to make him tiptoe... Not painful at all, but the kid will feel trapped and at your mercy for a few seconds. Then you have time to explain that you want him to stay near or not to run everywhere... It does work well, and the kid does not want to look like a fool in front of others :)

    Lastly, if ever you get in a crisis where the kid just don't listen and calm himself, stop talking to him but to the crowd, as it would be a freak show or whatever. "Step right up ladies and gents! Here's the crying kid who wants to have a candy!". This will make people laugh, and the kid will be so embarrassed that he will never do it again... Believe me, it works like a charm, my nephew still remembers after several years ;)

    my 5 cents! :)

    VicoPad addict!
  15. henry2
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    henry2 iPad Junkie

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    My dad called that move come to Jesus and we are going to have a talk look where he get hold of the neck like that and give you that look and little movement of the hand to remind you that your in a public place .

    There is has been a movement in a few state's where place's have banned kids in there place ..
  16. DrHouse
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    Banning kids from public spaces... And then what, old people? I'm not in favor of that at all. Kids are part of the society too and we'll have to rely on then one day. It's like people getting mad cause a baby is crying... It's a baby, for God sake. Are we so individualist about our personal space that we cannot tolerate a little baby? Anyway, there will always be bars and pubs to hide from them ;)

    VicoPad addict!
  17. SweetPoison
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    I get hella mad when I hear a baby crying in a movie.

    Just sayin' ~
  18. DrHouse
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    I have to admit that some places are tricky like movies... But i've seen some of then scheduling presentation for families with babies and young children so that they can enjoy movie time without being afraid of disturbing everyone. People should have common sense also, parents included.

    I was thinking more of restaurants, cafes, stores, airplane or trains...

    VicoPad addict!
  19. extendedforecast
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    Now we are up to shooting teenages and young adults on sight! Excellent! Oh yeah...I remember all those incidents where authorities just shot kids on sight in the 1960s. Hanging out at school football field. Gathering at some public make out spot. Just mowed down. In cities and towns all across America. What the hell are you talking about? That doesn't even make sense.

    And what? Your 8 year old is allowed to touch and adult and point to what he wants? Is he not allowed to speak in public? That sounds SO healthy.

    Reasonable people can disagree on how to deal with their kids. But I live in a neighborhood with tons of kids in NYC. TONS. People call it suburbia. And 99% of them are reasonable. If you go to a cafe of a sandwich place next to one of the big playgrounds at noon, yeah, there are going to be some amped up kids in there. On occasion you will find a real monster, usually due to neglect more than anything. There are also going to be crappy parents that bring their kids to a too late showing of a movie. How any of this is a reason to beat on a child? For the most part, the kids are just being kids. Growing up I took a swat here or there across the rear end. I got my ear twisted and tugged on occasion. But beating a child until they stop misbehaving in a public place? Send that kid to school with welts from a belt, and yeah, CPS is gonna come. That's not us getting soft or going to the left, that's just reasonable. Gen X and Gen Y (raised in such squalid permissiveness) are two of the most educated, entrapaneural, productive generations we have ever seen. I for one do not want to go back to the bad ol' days where a select few kids came to school with welts and bruises all over them, starving cuz they were sent to bed without supper and we all turn our heads saying its not our business.



    Sent from my Android 3.1 Motorola Xoom Tablet!
  20. Hasty
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    Fundamentally it's a lack of respect for others.....

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