This link is to the transcript of a Word Perfect help line conversation. Talk about ROFL :D
http://www.thisaddressdoesnotexist.p...Transcript.htm
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This link is to the transcript of a Word Perfect help line conversation. Talk about ROFL :D
http://www.thisaddressdoesnotexist.p...Transcript.htm
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Where's the latest gem, Richard.
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I'll have a look around. I have some emails which are circulating. Mostly oldies jokes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayles66
Cheers Hayles
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OK this is an oldie. It caught me out again shows how old it is:).
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:
(see attached picture)
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said:
"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.
You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."
Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea.
The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.
The audience applauded enthusiastically.
Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,
"Idiots...Hebrew is read from right to left... It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick"
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Hilarious!. Good one! More, more!
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Hi all
It is great to catch up on the forum posts, the banter etc. However the break was fab. I'm working on the photos.
Not so funny, but I think our aeroplane home had a near miss over Germany. I woke from a nap, and saw an American Airlines jet pass about 1,000 feet below us. I was too surprised to take photo! There was no comment from the aircrew, so is this a common experience these days?
That's beyond funny!
Gloomy bit over. Dubai was fab. Hot, so acclimatised to the heatwave here.
The forum banter prompted my posting here.
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Ahh! You are so sweet! We missed you too! I am looking forward to all your photos. I hope you enjoyed your holiday and welcome back. The near misses are probably more than we realise. Best not to think on that too much. We'd never go on a plane again.
Try this one. :D
The Lie Detector
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
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Nature always has a reason. Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and then forget where they have left them. :D
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That reminds me of an email my auntie sent me
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