Regarding feet: wax, don't shave.

#2 Second breakfast should be savoured, not rushed.

#3 If a well-known 'disturber of the peace' turns up with a cartload of fireworks, resist the urge to tamper.

#4 The wearing of reinforced underwear is highly recommended when playing 'tag' with ring wraiths.

#5 If the Prancing Pony has a yard sale, don't buy any pillowcases.

#6

Before starting a conversation with an Ent, make sure you have nothing in your diary for the week ahead.

I'll keep these in mind next time I wake up in a bath of ice in Mexico wondering where my kidneys are. Thanks.

"A man's greatest work is to break his enemies, to drive them before him, to take from them all the things that have been theirs, to hear the weeping of those who cherished them."