I too am on aol and have had the same problem. After numerous google searches and having no joy except offers of sites wanting to take my money to solve a problem which I shouldn't have I think I have found a way around it. Instead of going direct to your mail on you iPad go onto safari and log into your aol account. When you type in the URL make sure you remove the iPad extension which is entered automatically then sign into your email account. Just tried it and sent email no problem. Unfortunately there is no outbox so you can't retrieve emails that you have already had blocked.
Hope this helps.