Sorry, that's my bad, I missed the fact that you had PDANet on the Incredible from your first post and missing that was what made me think you weren't approaching it right. Apologies.
So, that aside, are you sure you are using the right tweak? I thought the "iTether w/ On Demand" was the correct tweak for the iPad side to allow it to connect to a phone offering tethering over Bluetooth...?
I thought "iBluever w/ OnDemand" was used to ENABLE the tethering on the Phone, not on the iPad?
If you read the descriptions of both tweaks (which compliment each other) this is what they seem to suggest.
I certainly used iTether (on iPad) in conjunction with TetherMe (on the iPhone) before I had a tethering plan included by my Carrier for free...