I have setup, reinstalled, checked my firewall, restarted my router, multiple times, but I am unable to connect to my Library using the Remote App

I used to have this working but its been awhile and the only thing I have changed was my router (had a WRT54GS linksys and now have a Netgear WNDR3700)

I have never had to do port forwarding or set anything special with my firewalls.

I have checked my router and I have SSID broadcasted, no port restrictions (even tried port forwarding the port specified to both my PC IP and the iPad IP address, still no luck).

When I enable my iTunes Home Sharing, my Library pops up on the iPad instantly, so it sees it and there is some communication. However, when I go to my Library, it fails to connect with this error:
"Remote can't connect to your iTunes library. Check your network settings and try again"


NOTE: I have even followed the troubleshooting from support.apple regarding this and one tip says to go to iTunes preference and "look for iPOd touch, iPhone, iPad Remotes" to be enabled. However, I do not see this option ANYWHERE in preferences!
I have Norton (thru comcast) for my firewall and I made sure iTunes was set to Auto (I even set it to Allow just to be safe).
I have Netgear WND3700
I have Remote 2.2 (338) installed
I have iTunes 10 installed on my Windows Vista PC


What is it that is causing me to not connect?

Please suggest a different forum if this is not the right place

After all this...I simply downloaded the update from 10.5.2.2 to 10.5.2.11 and all is working fine....what a time waster!