I want to help as many people with this is I can.
I had the same problem. Posted in another place, but nonetheless:
1. you need to upgrade your operating system to the latest (which costs $$), 2.THEN get online and upgrade your new operating system (it may take an hour or two)
3.THEN make sure you're in iTunes 9.2 or later
4.THEN plug in your iPad.
Unless you're super cutting edge, zip will happen. You're not alone.