Hate to say it, folks, but I've just about come to a couple of conclusions after trying about half a dozen styluses and reading literally hundreds of posts about various brands.
() There are simply too many individual preferences to reach a conclusion about the "best" stylus. What seems ideal to one user is unusable for another.
() The basic problem lies with the capacitive touch screen on the iPad, not with various styluses. It is simply not a well designed medium for detailed work. If you want something that feels like writing with a pen and paper you're going to have to wait for technology to catch up with...a pen and paper.
Bottom line. Buy a stylus. Doesn't much matter which one though the cheapest are probably not quite as good as the most expensive. Then practice, practice, practice. That's how you get to Carnegie Hall and it's how you become proficient with a stylus on an iPad. Just don't expect perfection. The iPad screen won't provide it.