Thanks everyone for your support - I really appreciate the words of encouragement you've all expressed, it has indeed spurred me to 'hang in there' !!
Thanks to purchasing the PhotoSync app (not sure I need it to be honest !) I 'fixed' one problem and that was that PhotoSync very kindly informed me that for my iPad to work I needed to open certain ports on my PC computer. Now, I claim to be very computer savvy, but even I don't like/know too much about that area - anyway, yes, Kaspersky AND Windows Firewall both got the rules added to open certain ports and then I was at least seeing my iPad in that app....
That in turn fixed part of my problem with syncing Lightroom and Photosmith........ BUT this is where THE confusion came...... on Photosmith's website they allowed V2.0 of the PC side of syncing to be made available for download, while their App side is still on V1.x...... turns out this is a mistake and that V2.0 shouldn't be available (Owner of Photosmith emailed me telling me that this morning.....) - that played a big part of my troubles...... (though Photosmith in Lightroom v1.x still isn't communicating and syncing correctly with the iPad).
I think I need a basic understanding of what Syncing actually is and how to do it PROPERLY using the iPad (i.e. the right and wrong ways that'll work best).
It seems to me (and I may be totally wrong here so please cut me some slack) - but it seems that in an ideal world iTunes would be perfect and you'd use ONLY that to Sync (keep in-line ?) what's on your iPad with what you want shared off your PC.
Where things are murky to me is;
1) iTunes doesn't appear to be 'perfect' and intuitive and doesn't INSIST upfront that if you've never used this before, "go read this first" (I Googled and see that I'm not the only one who thinks certain things about iTunes).
2) That some apps (yes I'm talking about PhotoSmith) don't appear to be totally ready....... I mean, when the OWNER of the App says that V2.0 of the Lightroom plug-in should be available yet I downloaded it from his website........ PS I since visited PhotoSmith's website yet again, and this time actually read some of the stuff on it regarding installation - the MOST important part of the installation, communicating with your iPad sounded sooooooo much like it'd be the source of a solution, and it turns out to be a broken link....... aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhh !!!!